There is pure chaos laced throughout our country right now. Unfortunately, we’ve been in this position before due to narrow-minded people and the idea that some are greater than others. The concept is nothing new, but the one thing that’s always existed alongside hurt and confusion… is love.
For every ignorant comment, there’s one full of compassion and empathy. For every hurtful act, there’s a peaceful protest and for every victim, there’s a community of support vowing to stop the madness; all of it. All lives matter. No one deserves to die. Categorizing an entire group because of the wrongful acts of a few is just what we need to stray away from as a country.
So, in the midst of this sad and disheartening time, I think it’s important to be reminded of the power of love. Love is the only feeling that’s not an emotion. Emotions come and go. They change daily. But if you ever truly feel love for something or someone, it can last a lifetime. Consistently. You may not always like what they do, you may disagree or have moments of wonder, but at the root of it all, love is stronger than all of that.
The Five Love Languages is a book written by Gary Chapman that describes different types of loving. Everyone has their own language they speak, but it’s important to keep in mind that the people you love may not speak your same language.
Word of Affirmation: uses words, compliments and general confessions as ways to affirm love. People that speak this language enjoy long talks, being listened to and thoughtful discussions.
Acts of Service: is the total opposite. For people that relate to this language, actions speak louder than words. Simple gestures to show you care like filling their car with gas will do wonders for the relationship you share.
Receiving Gifts: for some people, this makes them feel the most loved and thought about. This doesn’t necessarily mean always buying them things. Even a homemade dinner can count and really speaks to those who understand this language the best.
Quality Time: is all about unplugging and giving your loved one undivided attention. Showing them that they matter to you and come first.
Physical Touch: doesn’t necessarily mean sexual. Even holding hands or resting your hand on that person’s shoulder in public is all they crave. It speaks louder than any other word or action.
This video does an amazing job of briefly explaining the five love languages as well as tips on what each individual that speaks each language would find as offensive and what would strengthen your bond with them:
You can take the five love languages quiz to find out what language you speak, but keep in mind to not dismiss the knowledge of the others. While you may speak physical touch, your loved one may be all about acts of service and it’s important for you to know how to give that; not just in romantic relationships, but all that we encounter in life.
After taking the quiz I found my own love language is quality time, followed closely by physical touch. Reflecting on this, I know it couldn’t be more true. Time with the ones I love means so much more to me than physical things, or even words. I also get a safe feeling when I have contact with someone I love in a public environment. It makes me feel connected to them and protected.
Reflecting on your own love language and understanding it the best you can will help you know what you want and articulate it to the people in your life that matter. At the same time, with all of the craziness going on in this world, it’s important to remember that life is short and we should take the time to learn what matters to the people who matter to us and do everything we can to show them just how much we care.