Conflict and Shit

Disclaimer: This will probably be the most negative post you ever read from me.

I hate conflict. So much. I actually would probably apologize for someone else’s wrongdoing in order to avoid it. That being said college has made me realize that I can’t always get walked on because I’m scared to tell someone I’m underneath their feet.

There are a few things that, now that I have come into my own, I really don’t mind standing my ground about.

My family. If anyone says anything about my family, does anything to my family, or basically just hurts anyone in my family, I’ll pretty much jump down their throat. It’s such a new feeling for me but it’s surprisingly freeing. I spent way too many years letting shitty people burry my thoughts and feelings, if I’d have let that happen much longer I don’t think they would have been able to reemerge.

My friends. I have a mix when it comes to friends. Some who will speak their mind any and everywhere. Friends who will go up to a guy on a date with a girl and say she thinks he’s hot (a little too much, that’s for sure, but girl’s got spunk). Then I have friends who let people make them feel terrible and don’t do a single thing about it. I have an easier time sticking up for friends like that than I do for myself.

Most important to me though, and what I just realized peeves me so much tonight… When people talk about my relationship. I think there are certain things others should never concern themselves with, and someone else’s love life is the biggest one. I don’t really care about the context, I just don’t think it’s fair for people to make rash judgements about how quick or slow a couple is moving.  I have found that the people who usually find it necessary to talk about other’s relationships and their demographics are people who aren’t in one themselves. It’s easier to point a finger at what two people are doing wrong when you don’t have a person to do wrong with. Couples grow and learn together. That’s called a relationship. Love is something so precious that when someone’s really in it, they’ll protect it like a fragile ______(butterfly, plate, baby animal…everything seems way too dramatic to fill in the blank with, but you get the picture)! I’m young, but I know enough to confidently say that I love the man I am with more than anything in the entire world. He makes me feel like a better version of myself, and I was never as happy as I am now that he’s a part of my every day. I would do anything and everything to keep him happy, and he does the same for me. That’s all that matters to me, that’s all that should matter to anyone else in our lives.

Bottom line.
People talk until they lose their voice and then they use sign language.

When there’s nothing dramatic going on in their lives, it’s best to focus on the “wrongs” in someone else’s.

I used to be so naive and think that people would only talk about me if they had a reason too. It gave me such poor self esteem and I never stood up for myself or anything that mattered to me.

As I get older certain things mean so much more to me, and I realize how important it is for me to defend those things as best I can.

I still go by the “don’t say anything at all,” thing most of the time because I hate letting negative people win… but when something matters to me, I don’t bite my tongue anymore. I’m happy about that.

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